Things are starting to look up…

Lately I have been feeling rather under the weather for many reasons (some personal, some relating to everyday stuff and some “just because”). I think it finally took its toll on me last week when I was booked off sick for three days! Which in teaching time is a heck of a long time… it throws the kids out and throws out all the other teachers who rely on you to be there to play your part in the day. Tomorrow is Friday and its been a full week of playing the catch up game and re-teaching concepts (forgotten over the 3 days I was absent… yes it is strange how that happens to the kids… a mystery really?) … and I must admit that I caught myself on more than one occassion this week feeling really sorry for myself (because I have a tough time with my Grade 5’s – lesson learnt… I was too soft in the beginning) and how hard it is to be a teacher and how nobody really understands … unless they are teachers themselves…I have to constantly remind myself that I actually have a job … a good paying one and how so many people don’t have even a pinch of what I have been blessed with! Now that was the huge wake up call I needed to wake myself out of this pathetic self sorrow… and to get up in the morning with a brand new attitude each day that reminds me of why I chose teaching (because I honestly love the teaching part of my job) and who should be most gloried in my job (and thats a no brainer – although I seem to forget- that being God and not myself!)… so yesterday and today off I drove to school with a new attitude in mind and little cheeky saying in my head “I could care less what others think” to meet the day head on and take each challenge as it came! I won’t lie to you… I did mess up and did forget the why and who a lot of the time but at the end of both days I drove home in a better frame of mind, praying to and thanking Jesus for getting me through the day and for allowing me to be apart of the “bigger” picture.

This morning I went to school with this great idea…that I would really like to teach the younger kids (after chatting to Corné about it at length, he seemed to agree that would probably be better for me)…I went to my boss and chatted to him about possible move within my school. I was really hoping that doors would be opened, however it can not be done… (I was a bit sad… okay a lot sad) but in the same breath as he (my boss) said things could change and it was quite possible in the future but not right now. So I walked out his office slightly sad that this grand plan in my head wasn’t going to happen …but at the same time quite happy that at least I have gotten of my chest this huge weight and part “reason” for feeling so down lately.

The irony really was that today my kids were so well behaved, they listened, gave input, were interested and eager in my lessons that I actually felt quite bad feeling the way I had been feeling the past couple of weeks/months! (Lets see what happens tomorrow – LOL). This is probably a really boring post for those who are reading (sorry about that 😦 ) This however has taken me months to work out and I just really wanted to share it!!

So I guess what I am trying to say is… if I have seemed a bit distant, sad or rude… I do apologise and I want you to know I am working on it and I know I am not perfect and I mess up so much that sometimes I just need a little friendly nudge/reminder of the many, many blessings we have and especially as Christians living in the light of the cross! How undeserving am I yet His grace abounds in all my weaknesses and grumbles!

Below is a picture of a few of my boys in my class that mostly are the cause of my many strands of grey hairs! (Which I have told them often!) It’s a little reminder not to take everything so seriously and to remember that we are all human and make mistakes but in it all I have lots and lots to be thankful for!